Behind the Wheel: a Thief’s Failed Heist

That heavy slap should have bathed your entire body, you unscrupulous being. Can’t I doze off in peace? Is my head your head? If I choose to rotate my head southwardly or diagonally, I beg na your concern?

Hear me out peeps, it was one of those tiring days after work around 9pm. looking at the time alone should tell you how tired I was. We all know the hassle we go through in getting troski at night.

So I managed to secure myself a seat after pushing someone aside, not intentionally, I didn’t even get to see the person to offer my apologies. Survivor of the fitters huh? I finally grabbed a seat, exactly behind the driver. The bus conductor doing his job, asked and collected his fare step by step without hesitation.

But hold on, hello! Can’t we catch a breathe? I mean, we just grabbed a seat for crying out loud. It’s not like we’re running away with your money. Do we resemble Usain Bolt in any way to you? Regardless of my thoughts, the bus conductor went ahead and collected his GHC 6.20p. One woman screamed and asked, “mate, 3ny3 sis cedi 20 pesewas oo, 3y3 sis cedi.” She again went ahead to say, “me koraa menni 1 cedis mpo.”

That was when everyone began to murmur. “Oh so na we all dey the soup inside and never raised a concern.” All hail the woman for being the majority leader of troski affairs. The bus conductor realizing the issue at hand, interjected by saying “3y3 Station Car.”  Laughing out loud so much in my head that I couldn’t hold it in, burst out into tears of joy. Don’t ask me if I won the lottery.

Eei station car indeed, then if it was Kantanka’s car, I’m sure the fare would have increased. He still insisted on taking the exact amount of which we complied after disagreeing for a while. We had no other choice but to pay.

Right from the stretch of Suncity hotel, I laid my head close to the window. I couldn’t cheat nature and so, I began to doze off. As unperturbed as I could be, the pothole-ridden road didn’t get to me. The movement of the vehicle changed from “Adowa” to “Alarm shake” in no time and, that was when I realized bodies were flying high. My head kept moving to and fro and that was when I realized a stern look

All this while, this young man sat next to me, fidgeting and biting his nails. He looked wasted, can’t blame him. I blame the scalding weather. Who knows how much he sold at the market today? God dey, we dey. It gets better each day.

At this juncture my eyes were too heavy to carry and all I could do was to shut them down as we approached La Palm Royal Beach Hotel. Unknowingly, this man had an ulterior motive. He was scheming a way out of how to steal from our troski majority leader. Like why?

He maneuvered his way through the little space between the seats in front of us and oh, luck shone on him. The light in the bus had been put off. I guess that was his major advantage to bring his plan to life.

His hand mistakenly touched the leg of a certain lady and that was when the slap came in. The mate put on the light amidst the brouhaha.  In fact, people do walk with their problems so, you better watch yourselves out there, a little caution. He managed to take the tied rubber in the woman’s basket and he felt the slap so hard that he let go of the tied rubber. My eyes were widely open all this while, I mean, what is sleep? Sleep is for the weak.

Man began to sob oo, the slap enter am ruff ruff. Majority leader found her rubber when someone alighted at Nungua Cold store. That was when it dawned on her that the “Thief of Baghdad” was behind the falling of her hard earned day money. Come and see beatings. He really suffered in the hands of the men in the bus. I alighted before knowing his fate.

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